And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
