my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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