I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
