weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
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Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
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I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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