I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
