im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My pussy is not your playground.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
