i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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