i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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