He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
