Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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