Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
