I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
