My brain says no but my pants say off.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
