Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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