I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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