I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize