just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
