is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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