After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
