The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
