this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
