do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
