I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
