Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
