I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
