I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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