I CAN MOONWALK!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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