just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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