She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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