And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
