I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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