We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
