I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
