its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i dont even know how to be here
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
