you win again, gameday.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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