His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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