is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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