Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
