i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
