You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
