all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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