I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
