Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
