He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My vagina is officially offended.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
