If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
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im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
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I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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