So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize