Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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