I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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