I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize