"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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