the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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