I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
