You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
