i already hear my dad disowning me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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