Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
