You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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