the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
