I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
