i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize