"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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