Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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