My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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