I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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