i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
