I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
How's work?
Spinning.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize